it's winter 


w  i  n  t  e  r

thinking too much

Open letter.

Thinking too much. I guess this could be bad if it were possible for someone to do nothing but think and think and never act on impulse, but people can't function that way without trying for a lifetime to achieve it and even then it is out of a desire for solidarity for those things around us.

So it has been said that I think too much and it has been assumed by the accusers that this is a negative thing. I can't cut lose. I've always got something going on "up-there", in the general vicinity of my head. Okay. Agreed. But don't say that's bad without knowing me, that's pretty damn shortsighted and judgmental.

My favorite thoughtless pastimes:

  1. Stomping on acorns in the Fall just to hear them crack.
  2. Wrapping my hands around a cup of hot chocolate so I can see my hands turn red.
  3. Smelling white pepper or horseradish to get a really satisfying sneeze.
  4. Catching snowflakes on my tongue.
  5. Flopping like a fish in the surf during summer.
  6. Sometimes seeing my own blood, and tasting it.
  7. Singing in the car.
  8. Driving with no hands while the top is down.
  9. Turning over rocks looking for crayfish.
  10. Shooting at old appliances with a shotgun.
  11. Making funny faces.
  12. Fishing.
  13. Etc...
I think you get the point. Most of the time these things are done in private so what should someone who thinks too much do in crowds? Here are some of my favorite social responses.

The Thinker:

  1. Never speak unless spoken to, especially at parties.
  2. Alienate yourself by listening to music you really enjoy but nobody can relate to or remember, especially at parties.
  3. When spoken to, answer meaningfully and truthfully. Example. "How was your day?" Expected answer, "Fine." Your answer, "Okay, I was reading this new book by (insert author) and one of the characters said... (insert whatever here)."
  4. Bring up war a lot, people love it.
  5. Be sure when given the chance to, talk about your 1) Hobbies no one can relate to 2) Religion 3) The state of society today or, 4) whatever's on your mind. If you're a true thinker you'll piss somebody off.
  6. Play devil's advocate whenever possible.
  7. Most thinkers are shy, go with it, it makes you seem standoffish and conceited and everybody knows that these qualities represent the thinking individual, it will bolster your already failing social status.
  8. Mention the fact you write, scares people to death.
  9. Try to be the voice of reason.
  10. Talk softly.
So you see, it's as if I forgot to Lux my underwear or something. Now, if I behave this way, and I do, what have I observed in the social arena that represents my accusers? Ah...

The Non-thinker:

  1. Always speak.
  2. Listen to the latest music whether you like it or not, chances are it was written for you.
  3. If asked a question that requires thought, evade. Example. "How was your day?" Answer, "Nice sweater, got a smoke?" Answering may spark a thoughtful exchange, and thinking is bad.
  4. Never ever talk about war, politics, society, or religion, you'll drown in your beer.
  5. You've only read books they made you read in school.
  6. Talk loudly.
  7. Judge freely, after all, you're the majority, you're right.

goodnight 2.25.99

christopher@30seconds.org

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