w i n t e r
"It's been awhile."
"Yeah."
"Where've you been?"
"Around."
And it goes like that for a few minutes between us. I blow the smoke out my nostrils and bang my beer on the counter. When the next one arrives it's the same thing. Yeah, I've been around. I don't want to let them know where I've really been. I don't want them to know about the roof of the Dixie. They can't find out about the open windows and the staring eyes. They can't know about the rings around Saturn and the moons orbiting Jupiter. They can't know about the private life on the roof of the Dixie.
The new haunt right above their heads.
It's too easy sometimes. Too easy to climb the empty elevator shaft back of the Dixie to the third floor. Too easy to brace myself in one corner and stretch for the other side, finally finding a solid handhold. Too easy to ease through the skylight and onto the roof. It's a decent view from up there. I like it. The lens likes it. Shots are simple. Apartments plenty. They all signal. I don't need them really, just the click of the shutter and the faint sound of music below. Someone plays a breakbeat track and it comes up through the exhaust vents in the roof of the Dixie.
I take pictures of other people's lives at night.
I have no reason. I never develop the film. It's not the image I want, it's more than watching them though, somewhere between. I see them, size them up, pass judgement, make a choice, and...snap. Mine.
I have the moment. I've no need for the film, but I keep it. I put it in the fridge where it is safe and won't go bad.
Then I wait.
I've waited weeks.
"You've been awfully distant lately man."
"I know, but I'm back now. Play some pinball?"
"Sure."
We walk into the front room and drop a dollar in the machine. Lights flash and I hear "You have the power." "Shoot for the center staircase." "Ball one is locked."
You bet it is.
See tonight it's all over. I'll leave the bar tonight and I won't climb to the roof. I've the bag of film in my car and tonight I'm gonna remind all those people how vulnerable they really are. Tonight, before I go home, I'm gonna drop off one roll in front of all their doors. It doesn't matter if I get the rolls right. Hell, I'm not even trying.
One roll per customer.
24 frames of secrets.
One reminder.
goodnight 12.08.98