l i f e
Carbonek
contributions
christopher@30seconds.org
"When desire is literal, then the defeat of that desire is also literal."
Now let's think about it this way, in terms of philosophy, where "utiliterian materialism is countered by metaphysical idealism which, despite its abstractions, remains nonetheless literal."
Okay, where I'm going...? To Camelot of course. In Carbonek who did Percivale play chess with? That's right. He had some clarifying to do. He had to distinguish the poetic from the literal.
Freedom from both the materialism of desire and the formalism of denial requires that middle ground of the poetic, metaphorical, humorous, deceptive, imaginal, incomplete and dare I say monolithic be recognized.
"Look Mommy, there's an airplane up in the sky..."
Most of you are probably saying I've gone mad but I've got other plans. See I've got what they call a panic disorder and that allows me to scare the shit out myself quite often for no good reason. But I learn from this. From what I can't control. See, it goes something like this, "when you panic you literalize and are susceptible to the panic of putting 'words in execution', a pre-metaphorical reaction: the arcadian fundamentalism of Pan."
Pan. God of panic. My God. Trickster God. Playing gmaes with Satan over Job. My God!
So I execute words. Yeah, I do. So I straddle a line, sometimes very, very thin. Yeah, I do. I've never built a monolith, but I've been one. Single, massive, alone, standing for...Pan. No, wait, don't I mean me, standing for me? So simple don't you see. I am Pan, or at least I give Pan a very literal outlet. It hurts sometimes. It feels good others. There is no pattern. Get it. None.
Middle ground. Blurry stuff here. Sitting on a fence type stuff.
Panic could care less about the material aspects of desire and you can forget about denial. Throw it out the fucking window.
What Pan wants is the chaos. The effect when you throw the humorous and deceptive and imagined together. The incomplete.
Chisel away at the facade until you have your monolith. It ain't perfect, but it sure as hell is...
It is. It be.
Carbonek was monolithic at least in a metaphysical sense.
Perhaps that's why some people are in love with the idea. It doesn't come down to being slack, lazy or apathetic.
"The monolith that never was" is the unrealized.
It is, it just doesn't BE yet...
Just like scribbles on a page are random noise until given a voice, a purpose, a point.
Get it. Yeah. It's all linked. It all be. It all has a Father, a son, and a ghost be it holy or not.
goodnight 12.10.97
